the only card i will ever send
middle school vs high school
me when i am mildly inconvenienced: thIS IS THE WORST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME
me when i am legitimately hurt/distressed: no no it's fine i've had worse
"Welcome, passengers, I’m Captain Eddy of Eddy’s Creek Cruise. Where you get more bank, for your buck. I’d like you to sit back, relax, and enjoy the soothing sounds of 88 Fingers Eddward!"